Leading by Example

For my assignment this week, I spent time studying Leadership as Christ established it on the Earth. I read several scriptures, but the message that I gathered was that leadership is best done in a spirit of loving example. It is important that others want to follow us because they see the happiness that we possess, and the peace that we feel. As I become a consistent example of what Christ's followers should be, then others will yearn for the peace and joy that I feel, and I can help them to find truth. I love the idea of being an example to others, especially a quiet example. I found a cute little video clip of a young woman who proved herself to be many things simply by the things she carried in her purse. I think that as we think about the idea of what we are telling others about ourselves, we can find many cute lessons in the story of the Lost Purse:

Preparing for Christ

Again, I am using this blog as a place to do some homework. At first I felt weird, like maybe my personal blog wasn't the right place for these assignments, but then I thought about it and realized, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is a HUGE part of the person that I am, and even more part of the person I am trying to become. So I think this is the perfect place for some of these thoughts. Today's assignment revolved around understanding what I can do to be prepared for the Second Coming of Christ. I was sent to several scriptures, which I will link below and then explain what I learned from them.
Mark 13
I started in this chapter because it is a parable about the Second Coming, offered by the Savior. I found some interesting things in it. I specifically read with the point of understand two words: heed, and watch.
I think the word heed means, to listen, obey and also to be aware that you have been warned. It is frequently used to help us understand when some kind of council has been offered. It is really a signal that something important has been offered to us, and  we would be wise to follow it.
The word watch in this chapter signified to me that we have been shown expectations of what will happen before the Savior returns. I think this because if there was nothing to watch for, why would we be instructed to "watch?"
Doctrine and Covenants 87:8
This verse is the last in the chapter and the phrase the stood out to me was "Stand in Holy Places" because we must first find good and holy places to put ourselves. Then we must stand up for the good and holy things we believe in. The second part that I also liked was "And be not moved." I like this part because I think too often I get comfortable and feel like, hey, I made it to church on Sunday, good enough! Well it isn't good enough! Finding the holy place is only the first step! It is equally important that we refuse to budge from the good and holy things and places that we know are true.
Doctrine and Covenants 45:56-57
The part of this section that I really liked was the reminder that those who received and accepted the truth, were also able to use the Holy Ghost as their guide. I thought this was very comforting. As we strive to find the truth in anything, we can be lead and assured of the accuracy through the Holy Ghost.

I loved studying this part of the scriptures. I sometimes get afraid of the Second Coming because I worry that I won't be good enough, but I just know that Heavenly Father knows my heart and all I can do is the best that I can do. And I have faith that as I try to follow the teachings I have been given, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will provide a way for the Second Coming to be a great and happy day for me and my family.

The Widows Mites

Sometimes in my life I feel like I'm not in a position to serve and sacrifice because I just have too little! But when I stop and think about it, I'm never in a position to not serve. I think that sacrifice is something that I can always do. In the story of the Widow's Mites, basically, she was incredibly poor and had very little to give, but what she did give was of far greater value to her than the rich who gave much. She felt the loss of the Mites far more than most would. I think that sacrifice should be like that for me. At the very least I think it is important to remember that we are never "above" people who are less fortunate than ourselves, simply because we give more.  We must keep a broader perspective and learn what more really is.

Update on Em

I'm going to Wyoming!
For fifteen days!

I'm really excited and a little nervous. Brandon totally keeps me grounded, that's why I tend to get a little crazy for the first half of the week when he is working and schooling so much! I am riding home with his parents on Sunday, and then I am driving back to Utah with Brandon when he come to Wyoming for Thanksgiving. I've tried to be a good wife by leaving him with a lot of meals and by painting the main bathroom before I leave which is turning out to be a killer amount of work. :) I just need a smaller list once in a while so that I can calm down a little bit and feel like I'm beating the list once in a while. haha

My little sister, Tessa, showed me how to snapchat today... It made me feel super old! I'm not even old! Although I have found that being married has really removed me from the technology updates and things like that. We don't have the money to buy the newest thing! Or even the money to buy cable, or go to movies consistently! So in reality, we just are kind of stuck with what was new when we got married! I never understood this logic. I would rather pay for babies than cable though. I love my life and I love where I'm at, I just feel super strange sometimes, kind of like I'm just not myself. That's okay though, I guess that's probably just part of growing and becoming someone new. :)

Alright, well, I'm off to bed because I'm exhausted and out of things to say! Good night

Principles in Parables

I have a religion class, and I've decided to do a blog entry to complete a study assignment.

For this assignment I was asked to read scriptures and sections of the institute manual to learn what major principles were being taught by each parable. I'll post the scripture reference, and below it my understanding of what was taught. Feel free to look up these scriptures by clicking on the scripture, I'll link them to LDS.org

Luke 16:1-12
There is a real need to prepare for eternal life, without any delay.

Luke 16:19-31
Christ spent his time between death and resurrection bridging the gap between Spirit Paradise and Spirit Prison. This allows missionary work and continued growth to happen in the next life.

Luke 17:11-19
Following the commandments and the instruction we are given through personal revelation will allow us to be blessed. It is important that we rely on our faith as we ask for miracles, and that we always recognize where the miracles have come from and give thanks.

Luke 18:1-8
It is not right to do things for selfish reasons, and then pretend that we are acting in a Godly fashion. God's compassion and kindness are not selfish at all.

Luke 18:9-14
Humility is far better than self-righteousness.

I really liked learning these principles and studying with the help of the Institute New Testament Student Manual, because a lot of the scriptures confused me at first read, but with some clarification I really learned a lot. I hope you enjoy seeing what I learned today :)
Love ya all

Happy Day!!!!

Steve finally got one of my letters!!!!! I have so much more motivation to continue to send him cards! I was getting so discouraged because it has been like four weeks since I started sending him letters and he still hadn't recieved any of them. But now he seems to be getting them. Hopefully they continue to make it to him.

I started to thatch the yard today. Basically I'm taking a metal rake and tearing up the dead grass and other stuff to expose some fresh dirt so I can fertilize and open up the dirt to oxygen and water and then I'll seed the yard again. It's a big project. The yard is pretty big. My obliques are really sore from doing that for a couple hours today. It's a good thing though. My goal is to have a nice full, soft, weed free yard by the time I move out so grandma just has to maintain it. Once we get the yard under control I want to help her with the flower areas. I want to landscape it so nicely.  Maybe I'm more like my dad than I thought I was ;)

Sad story for the day: I just learned that Brandon's cousin and his sister are both set on the same baby girl name that I'm set on. I know that I'm not even pregnant, so it's dumb to worry, but still. I only just found out that Brandon likes it too, like two days ago and today I found out that two other relatives are hoping to name their kids that.... These are the downfalls to having big families. That's the third girl name that we both like that is a no for relative reasons... Actually fourth. I forgot about the name katie... Sigh.

Anyway. The chances of us actually agreeing on that one name for a whole pregnancy, a pregnancy that hasn't even started yet, well it's pretty slim.... Plus I like uncommon names... apparently if three of us that I know all like it, its probably more common than I'd really want...

Confused

I don't understand a lot of things. I don't understand why I lose any ability to deal with stress when I am sleep deprived or hungry. Today Brandon waited up for Britain so that I could sleep in until ten. Ironically she also slept in until ten, but it was a kind gesture for him to make for me. I know that I need to do a lot of things. But I'm also trying to be pleased with the things that I do get done. I know life is okay. Everything is going to work out. I think I just need a sleep in day every now and then.

3 years

I love Brandon. He is my best friend, my strongest supporter and he's cute too. :) I know he's on my side (except at night when I'm on his side of the bed... accidentally encroaching on his space...) I know he loves me. And I love him.

I can't believe we've been married for three years. 
I can't believe I can love him more than I did on our wedding day.

He's cute, three years ago I called him, panicked. I told him I didn't have time to get married. I was freaking out over packing my stuff, I was freaking out over getting to bed on time, and having time to get my hair done in the morning. I don't remember everything I was worried about, but I do remember his sweet voice reassuring me that I would be okay. Asking if I loved him, and when I responded yes, he told me that was all that mattered. He convinced me to go to sleep. And the next morning I was okay again. Nervous, but excited. If only he had known that those extreme panic moments were part of me....hehe...

It's been three years, lots of fun, lots of grumps, lots of hugs, lots of (my) tears. And now I know him three years better than before. I wouldn't trade a day of it. 

Almost one year after we got married, he took me to the hospital at midnight, and he slept in a chair while we waited for our sweet baby to come into our lives. And he shocked me again, he is the best dad I have ever met. He loves his baby with so much tenderness that I can't even comprehend it. 

Basically what that means is that I KNOW that I married my 100% perfect-for-me soul-mate. He is my best friend for always and the only one I want me eternity with. 

I know this is super cheesy-but cut me a break its 1:30 am... and he's working all night again, for me. Because he loves me enough to work hard so I can be the mom I always wanted to be. 

I love you Brandon. 
You're my favorite.
Even if I had to force you to marry me ;)

Thanks for three years! Now, here's to eternity!

Not the end...

My sister's best friend passed away this week. My sister is being incredibly strong for everyone leaning on her. I can see it, and I'm not even there. 

I wish with all my heart that everyone had the knowledge that I have. I understand that this young girl, and every other person will live again. That is the plan that Heavenly Father has created for us. Death is not the end. While death is painful and scary on this side- it is actually a beautiful celebration on the other side. It marks the end of the trials and pains of our mortal existence. I am so grateful for the knowledge that death only separates us for a short time. 

Alma Chapter 40: (In the Book of Mormon)

       11 Now, concerning the ^astate of the soul between ^bdeath and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are ^ctaken ^dhome to that God who gave them life.

        12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of ^ahappiness, which is called^bparadise, a state of rest, a state of ^cpeace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

I love that I have such a comforting knowledge of the plan of salvation. I appreciate that my brother in law has given two years of his life to teach this message of peace and hope to people who have lived without this comfort. Death will always be sad for us saying goodbye, even if it is only for a time…But how kind our Heavenly Father is to share with us the great joy awaiting those who pass away.

I love my sister. I admire her courage in such a tragic situation. I love my entire family. I pray that comfort will bless all those who so desperately need it. 

And exhale...

We moved. I'm happy. I did forget to forward my mail until today... How weird would it be for me to knock on my old door and ask if they have any of my mail? I really want to... Steve told us in an email that he had sent us a physical letter, but I think it probably already got to our old place... Okay, unless someone actively tells me not to, I think I'm going to knock on the door.

Moving on, so yesterday my princess turned two! She is so big. So far she has done really well with her big girl bed transition too. She had a rough first two days, but I think that was as much because we moved as anything else. In hindsight, it wasn't very nice to make her move and change beds in the same day... Oh well. She hates going to bed, but she actually sleeps through the night better than before. (okay maybe I just sleep better...) I think she likes being able to get up and play when she wakes up in the morning until I come get her. She is a sweetheart.

Alright, sorry for not blogging more. Life has been pretty crazy. Also, Britain wakes up like an hour earlier here, so I need to head to bed. Loves!

Moving Week

Anxiety.
Haha, for anyone who knows me, you already saw that coming. I am one tornado of anxiety over everything. I am really terrible at controlling my stress. It's making me sick...Not good. But I am excited. We are moving into my Grandma's house and renting from her. I think it will be a great situation for our family. We are going to be gaining an extra bedroom and the overall space is about twice what we have now. And it is affordable for us. I think everything is going to be great. But! since we aren't moved in just yet, it's my job to freak out about it day and night until it happens! That is just me. :)

In other news, my hair is now blonde. Haven't decided if its a good thing or not... I really hated it at first, I came home and sobbed to Brandon for two hours or so. Then I proceeded to make plans to chop my hair off into a pixie cut... I have curly hair, so that probably wouldn't look so cute on me... So we decided I should keep my hair, even if I look like a clown. My biggest problem with my hair is that my eyebrows are sooo dark that blonde looks ridiculous against it. But this morning I did some plucking (first time in my life) and it helped. So-I'm choosing to like my hair more than I did on Friday...

School is the last stress in my life today. I had six days off between spring and summer semesters. I'm exhausted! But I know it will be good-I'm just freaking out that my classes are starting up the week that I'm trying to move and clean my old apartment, and paint the new one... What a CRAZY person I am. Okay, I'm going to bed now so I don't become emotional tomorrow. Love ya'll! I'll try to post more consistently in May when I get a hold of my life again!

Britain is almost 2!!!! Only two weeks (less even!) When did this happen!?!?!?!

Life is Good

Look its all three of us!

My new favorite of Britain

Yup, he's my soul mate,
I mean seriously, That's a cute face  :) 

There are so many things I want to say right now... but here and now are not the time and place. So I'll stick to saying, YAY! This is the final week of my second semester of Pathway. I cannot believe I'm almost done with the program... One step closer to fulfilling my lifelong goal of earning a bachelors degree. Don't get too excited- I've still got more than two, possibly three years left before that becomes a reality. But life is great right now. I'm so grateful for my Grandma Van Wagenen who told my mom, who told me about this program. Without it, earning a degree really just wouldn't be an option for me at this time. I'm so glad that I'm being guided through my life. :)
I am exhausted right now. It's only 8pm, but I feel like it could be 2 am. What a long (but wonderful) week. I'm ready for bed, but I think I'll probably do some homework first.
I'm so happy to be me right now. :)

Silly nerds, thinking about Steve

Spring...Swim....Sales...

Swim! 

Okay, most of you know I used to swim... A lot... 

Well since leaving high school, me and the pool, we really fell out. It was terrible, we left on not so great terms. WELL...this year I was walking through Kolh's trying to spend some Easter money, and I found swim suits! And not just the picked over variety that I usually find, but the beginning of the season swim wear!!! 

Yeah, baby! 

Emily

Of course this means that I have to snatch these cuties up :) So I did. Originally I bought a cute coral top with spaghetti straps, but it was so stupid hard to get on and off (in any size I tried!) that I took it back and got my super great turquoise top that is a halter top

Britain

. :) I also like that because it's a halter top, I feel like I'm less exposed. :) I'm very happy with my selection. Can't wait for Brandon to wake up so I can show him :)

On to Britain's selection :) 

I think it is adorable. It's out of my norm, but she was excited about it. I mostly bought it because it was the only 3t swim suit I could find that was not Dora. But I think it will be adorable on her. 

We're in Trouble :)

We're in for a busy life with this child :)

 It's 12:39 pm...

She woke up at 10:14 am....

It's been 2 hours and 20 minutes....

The innocent face is deceiving...

She decided to color... 

...on my throw pillow....

Can you see the pretty autograph?
 Red pen.. Green pillow,
at least she tried to match the couch :)

not even one hour later... ....she accidentally pulled a bowl off the counter and it shattered....

uh-oh! Sharp objects!

Yeah, I'm a mom... I'm also a one-woman rescue team :)

I got to venture into the broken glass to save my child from her curiosity.

We were both barefoot, but in my case, with this kid, there was no time to find shoes, I was lucky she held still for four seconds of shock following the clatter. That's the only reason her little feet didn't get cut...

Nap time is in 20 minutes... Heaven help me when she outgrows her afternoon nap... :)

Silly em

Why am I awake? Because I am a big procrastinator. I just straight up don't wanna go to bed on time. I have ALWAYS hated going to bed on time. Why, you ask? Well let me tell you. It's because I am afraid of missing anything! I'm convinced that when I go to sleep, someone will be having a party or something and I'll miss out.

I'm seriously hoping that in the next life we get out of a few necessary things:
1-no more need for sleeping-time waster
2-no more need for eating (I'm totally happy with eating for fun, but I'd prefer if it wasn't a biologically necessary evil... it is so time consuming! And I often forget to, so it would be great if I wasn't passing out when I didn't remember slow down to eat.)
3-showering-this one is hard because I really love hot water and I love feeling freshly clean, but good-ness! It is so time consuming when you shower like I do.... (Ok-so maybe the real problem is that my showers are too hot and too long... Well anyway.)

Okay, I'm going to bed now... But don't expect me to fall right to sleep! No sir! I'll have to make sure there are no fun things happening before I can drift to sleep!

Peek into my thoughts

So I don't really know what my deal is, but I've been weird lately. I'm moping around all the time and being all melancholy. It's pretty much lame. But tonight, after some great conversation with my Brenann, and then a short conversation with Brandon, I've come to the conclusion that I am putting myself down. Nothing about my attitude can change until I choose to change it. I know everything won't change overnight, (although that would be nice) but I can make the process start. With me. Not with anyone else just my attitude. My expectations of myself and my life. I am excited to watch this change begin in me.

Another thing that I realized is that I love my child just the way she is. Of course we will keep working on manners and behavior while she grows up, but ultimately, she has attitude. And that shouldn't surprise anyone, because she spends all her time with me. And lets face it, I've got attitude. Anyway, I love my child. A lot of people tell me she is perfect and so easy. And guess what! That is not totally true. The truth is that she has a lot of energy, a lot of love to share, a lot of attitude, and more personality than I do. I love everything about her, but that doesn't make her easy. That makes her a complex little person who came to this earth to learn and grow just like the rest of us. What a blessing that she and God chose me to be her mom. I love that little flower more than anything in the world.

Britain and mommy--day 3

Following my Feelings

I've been taking this family history class. It's been really challenging for me. One thing that has bugged me the whole time is the knowledge that I have ancestors whose names have been skipped over. I believe in temple work. I believe that my ancestors are waiting for me to begin their work, I actually believe that this responsibility is a large part of why I need BYU-Idaho.

The story that I wanted to share on here is only a small segment of what has been happening for me recently. I think it's worth sharing.

When I started this semester, my teacher had us read a million talks about what crazy things will happen when a person earnestly starts seeking out their ancestors. Frankly, I didn't believe anything cool would happen to me. It's not that I doubt the stories that other people share, I just figured neat stories are a little too cool for me. Well I was wrong.

Maybe this is going to sound silly, but I know this wasn't coincidence, and that is what makes it neat.
I'm in the middle of a journey, looking for information about my great grandfather Paul Raymond Smith. And I don't really know where I'm going to end up. But tonight, at midnight I felt some pull towards my family history homework. I started looking for one piece of documentation to satisfy the assignment. About fifteen minutes in I started getting anxious, I wasn't finding anything! So I called my brother. He didn't answer, but texted me agreeing to call before going to bed. I kept looking. About ten minutes later I got on Facebook  I almost posted about my discouragement with my search, but hesitated. I left Facebook  deciding to go to bed. In a random moment, mostly out of boredom, I returned to Facebook and posted the following:

does anyone happen to know anything about my mom's paternal grandpa??? Paul Smith... I'm kinda on this weird obsession kick right now. It started out as homework, but it's turning into this crazy need for information... Just wondering... Clearly I can't make a million phone calls at midnight...

 I felt silly posting it. But I felt this weird urgency so I did it anyway. Within twenty minutes, just as I'm about to go to bed, my grandpa calls me. (Remember how late this is? See, not coincidence.) I hardly ever talk to my grandpa, so this phone call would have surprised me at any time of day. He said "Hi Emily, this is grampy, Rosemary said you were wanting information on my dad." Rosemary, his wife, apparently chose that particular time of night to get on Facebook and my post was the first thing that showed up on her wall. She wasn't tagged in the post, so it easily could have not shown up on her wall. It was there though, and she immediately told my grandpa that I needed help, and he called, just before one in the morning.

It was really neat. Maybe my story doesn't portray the event very well, but just take my word for it. Heavenly Father allows our ancestors to bless us and guide us as we try to help them. I want to make sure that no name is passed over for temple work. I know I won't get every last name, but I wanna make a huge dent in my family tree. I am trying to work hard at this. What a blessing that I can feel the influences that are guiding me as I search for needed information.

Thanks for hearing me out.I just wanted to share my moment of wonder with ya'll.

Spring Cleaning

I know I will feel better when my house is clean. I LOVE spring cleaning. This year it is being inspired by my wonderful mother in law who is coming today... Should I be blogging? No. I should be cleaning. I figure, if I'm going to spring clean anyway, why not do it this week when my lovely guest can enjoy the fruits of my labor with me? Okay, lets be honest, I'm not really that awesome... My house is gross and I'm embarrassed. I really do like spring cleaning, but today, its just necessary.  I really don't want to be cleaning though, to give you a hint of how much I don't want to do it today-I totally rearranged Britain's room... Why? just to put off doing the real chores. Sigh, I should get back to work... Hopefully this pays off and my house looks outstanding tonight. HAHA then I'll go to class and come home to chaos... Is that how it works at everyone's house? Or is it just my 22 month old? I'm hoping it's normal at this age....

My Little Sunshine

Britain has FINALLY started playing with her dolls. She is such a cute little mommy to them. When I go into her room to wake her up, I find her rocking her baby in her bed. It makes me so happy that my little princess is playing with dolls.  For a while, I had decided that she was a tom-boy with all her cars. She still likes boy toys, but this is just too cute to not share. I am going to stop babbling so y'all can see what you really wanna see. PICTURE OVERLOAD!!!! enjoy.

P.S. The last thing is a video that Brandon took of Britain tickling me. It is hilarious to listen to how she says "tickle tickle tickle" It makes me smile every time. 

Fisher-girl Britain

"My hair is CRAZY!!!"

"Blow bubbles, baby doll!"

My favorite

Buttermilk Chicken

For Brenann (and anyone else who is hungry for deliciousness) 

Buttermilk Chicken-

4-6 chicken breasts

1 1/2 c. buttermilk

3/4 c. flour

1 1/2 tsp. salt

1 1/4 tsp. pepper

1/4 c. butter

1 can cream of chicken soup

Dip chicken into 1/2 cup buttermilk. Roll in seasoned flour (salt and pepper). Melt butter in 9x13-inch pan. Put chicken in pan. Bake uncovered at 425 for 15 minutes. Blend soup with remaining 1 cup of buttermilk and pour over chicken. Bake 15 minutes longer or until tender. Serve with rice. Use a bit more buttermilk for extra sauce.

Recipe from my mom, Heidi Johnson :)

My thoughts

I have had a weird day. It's been really peaceful at times, really nice and relaxing, and then for no reason I'm yelling about cars and chicken dinner and any thing else that set me off.

Brandon I'm sorry.

Poor Brandon, he received almost all of my frustration today. And he didn't deserve any of it.

I'm really stressed out. Brandon's job ends on Monday. I know he can get a new one, but this "trust" thing does not come naturally to me. I think on top of that, having my house in shambles is creating a lot of tension inside of me. I think I need to clean. I just wanna share the one thing that really humbled me just now.

I was stalking on facebook (don't pretend you're surprised by this) and I was trying to imagine what my life would be like if I were graduating this year from college and I had had a crazy single college experience.

Then I realized something.

That life would never have made me happy like the one I have does. I would not trade a single day with my husband for anything. I definitely wouldn't give Britain back for one single night of non-mom fun.

I am so grateful for the love that my sweet little family gives me, and for the joy that comes from knowing
  I belong with them.

Tonight Britain made a bed for herself on the floor, then she grabbed her bunny and pulled the stuffed nose to her mouth and gave it the sweetest kiss. It was so adorable. No stuffed animal has ever been luckier.

My husband is perfect. My daughter is my world. I hope I can push through to get a degree, but ultimately, I already have the things that really matter to me. I have a role in my family.

I'm going to go clean my house so Brandon can wake up to a sweet little clean house. :) Good night moon.

For Malena

Here is a few items that I really learned from as I've been taking my Family History Research Religion course from BYU-I.

Here is a really inspiring talk for President Boyd K. Packer. It really offers some neat suggestions for getting started. Your Family History: Getting Started

The next thing that I want you to read is also amazing! It's by President Howard W. Hunter. It talks about the temple. The Great Symbol of Our Membership

The following is a talk given by Elder Groberg. I couldn't find a link to it online so I'm just going to post it below: (Sorry it's long!)

Family: The Eternal Perspective

Elder John H. Groberg

I am happy to be with you this evening, and especially grateful to have my wife, Jean, with me. I commend you for the great work you are doing in Family History. I am aware of the technological advances that have been and are being made almost daily in many fields of endeavor, including Family History. I thank you for applying these Heaven-inspired resources, to make this vital work more reliable, more accessible and more doable.

This evening, however, I have chosen to address my remarks not to the technological, but to the spiritual side of the work. We live in a physical world and have physical bodies, but it is our spirit that gives us life. It is the spirit that gives life to all things, including Family History. Without the spirit there is no existence, no understanding, no life. It is our spirit that can see beyond this mortal sphere and help us understand where we

came from, why we are here and where we go after mortality. Only as we see beyond the limits of mortal life can we understand the real meaning of our existence and the eternal importance of family.

1 Presented at the BYU Center for Family History, February 27, 2004

The world today is confused in their attempts to define and understand a family. Without, in any way, decrying the efforts of many good people who are sincere in their research, I submit to you that the only way anyone, anywhere, in any age can truly

understand what a family is and what its ultimate purpose is, is through the teachings of God, as given through scriptures, prophets, prayer, and obedience to the same. Thus, I have titled my remarks: “Family: The Eternal Perspective.” Since God is eternal we could also title them: “The Family from God’s Perspective.”

The Bible says, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” (Genesis. 1:1). After God created the earth and made it livable, He established a family, patterned after His family in Heaven. First he created Adam. But Adam alone was not a family. So he created Eve. She became not only a help-mate, but a soul-mate and completed the foundation for continuing families.

God gave Adam and Eve to each other in the Garden of Eden before death was part of the equation, so we know they were intended to be together forever. Through a series of events mortality came about, and the families of this earth began to be. They have

continued and will continue until every spirit assigned to this earth has had a chance to be housed in an earthly “tabernacle of clay.”

As we come to earth we are taught to pray: “Our Father which art in Heaven. Hallowed be thy name (Matthew 6:9).” When we address “Our Father in Heaven,” we are reminded that He is the Father of our spirits and that we lived with Him in a family in Heaven

before we came to this earth and became part of another family. Only here, our spirit would be housed in a mortal body which God gave our earthly father and mother power to produce. A veil of forgetfulness was drawn over us so we could better learn to live by faith. But we didn’t forget everything.

Deep inside each of us is an intense longing to experience the same joy, love and security in our earthly family that we enjoyed in our Heavenly family.

Individually we are part of God’s eternal family, but He wants to teach us how we can have our own eternal family. Part of that process is to come to this earth and link our earthly

family; both those who came before us and those who come after us.

As near as I can tell we agreed to three essential responsibilities when we came to earth:

1. To live our lives according to God’s commandments so we can go to the temple and properly link the past to the future.

2. To teach our families and our neighbors the gospel, search out our ancestors and do vicarious temple work for them.

3. To have children and teach them gospel truths, especially about families so they will continue the linking process.

Let me illustrate these three parts with a symbol. Picture yourself as a couple looking into each other’s eyes. Now picture a mirror behind each of you, tilted so that the reflections bounce back and forth and go on forever down the stream of time and on into infinity. You, as husband and wife, are in the middle. The endless reflections on one side represent your ancestors, those who have gone before, making it possible for you to be here. The endless reflections on the other side represent your posterity² those to come who will continue the chain of your eternal family. But we are in the middle. Think of it. If we aren’t worthy, if we don’t do the work for our ancestors and if we don’t get married and have children, we will not have linked our generation! These endless images can only be seen by each spouse as he or she looks through the eye of the other spouse. In other words, we can’t do it alone. We need each other. Just as Adam needed Eve, so we need our spouses! In one sense, all eternity is focused on this one couple and waits for them to act.

Thankfully they are not alone. Those who have gone before and those who are yet to come can have a mighty influence on us, if we will let them. I know something of these influences.

Let me give three personal examples of influences from the past, the present and the future. First, the past: as a mission president in Tonga I needed to visit some elders on a distant island. The only boat available was old and dirty. Jean was nursing our three-month old daughter, Gayle, but she wanted to come along, so she made arrangements for someone to watch the older girls and we took passage on what the locals called “the rolling tub.”

I arranged for the only so-called room on the boat, which was nothing more than a small enclosure with two narrow planks against one wall called “bunks.” We stayed on deck as much as possible as the air was so bad in the tiny room.

The roughness of that voyage was unbelievable. The waves crashed across the deck, making it slippery and cold. Even though the air was much better on deck, for safety’s sake I felt we should stay in our bunks. Jean tried to lie down with Gayle on the lower

board. I tried to stay put on the upper one.

The rolling and jerking of the boat became so violent that we were often thrown out of our bunks and smashed against the floor and the opposite wall which was only a couple of feet away. I was afraid I might come crashing down on Jean and the baby if we were

thrown from our bunks at the same time.

The best thing I could think of was for Jean and the baby to stay on the lower bunk and for me to sit on the floor with my back against their bunk, with my feet braced against the opposite wall. This way I could be somewhat stationary, and when Jean and the baby were pitched to the open side of the bunk they would roll against my back rather than onto

the floor.

  

The floor was hard, wet and cold, and my legs and back were cramped from the constant strain. It was a long, miserable night.

Gayle clung tenaciously to Jean and was able to nurse and sleep on and off. I wondered how long I could hold out. All during that long dark night we were in constant turmoil. The pitching boat, the pounding waves, and the shrieking wind tore not only at my

comfort but at my faith. Why is all this happening? I wondered.

At one point during the night I turned and looked at Jean and Gayle and felt the trauma and pain they were experiencing. I wanted to get them out of this situation, but there was nothing I could do. I asked: “Why did I bring Jean and the baby? Why is this happening? If the Savior calmed the Sea of Galilee, why not calm this sea?” On and on went the questions. I was hurting, and suddenly a wave of self-pity started to enter my mind.

At that precise moment, another influence flooded my mind. It was as though someone were talking to me, someone who was close to me, someone I knew from somewhere. I couldn’t tell who, but I knew it was a faithful woman who knew me and loved me. Her influence filled my mind in a peaceful yet firm way, and I clearly felt the message: “Do not complain. You have no right to complain. You should be grateful for the opportunity to serve the Lord, to help build His kingdom. No sacrifice is too great for His sake. Think of what He did for you. Don’t complain. Don’t even think of complaining.”

  

These impressions filled my heart and mind. What a blessing and comfort they were! I was still terribly uncomfortable and seasick, my back and legs still hurt, the night was still

dark and the sea was still rough, but for some wonderfully beautiful reason the thought of complaining left me entirely. Like a cloud of darkness, it had been chased away by a flood

of goodness and light.

I knew I had been helped by an outside force. I closed my eyes and thanked God for His goodness and help and asked for His protection as we continued our voyage. I expressed my deep appreciation for whoever had influenced my thinking so positively that frightful night. We landed safely the next morning.

Years later I was reading a history of my great-grandmother, Elizabeth Susan Burnett Brunt. She was born in London but as a youth went to New Zealand, where she married and had several children. She and her husband heard the Latter-day Saint missionaries in Kaipoi, near Christchurch, around 1870 and were converted. As was the custom in those days, the missionaries asked them to gather to “Zion.” Accordingly she and her husband

began making arrangements to leave New Zealand for Utah.

They had difficulty selling their farm so it was determined that she would take their four small children and go by boat to San Francisco and on to Salt Lake City. Her husband stayed to settle affairs in New Zealand and followed a year later.

  

I pondered on the faith of that young mother with four small children heading out alone from New Zealand to her desert Zion in Utah. Who knows the hardships, the trials, the discouragements she passed through?

Then something really caught my attention. It was a brief comment that at one point on their voyage to San Francisco the boat encountered extremely rough seas and she and the children became very ill. The picture of that moment filled my mind. I could literally see them tossing, both physically and emotionally, on that merciless sea. She was alone and discouraged and almost felt to complain, but as she prayed she remembered that she was a

member of God’s true church and was on her way to Zion. She was helped to realize that no problem was too big and no sacrifice too great as long as she attained her Zion. She promised herself she would never complain, or even think of complaining, and prayed that none of her posterity would either.

I was spellbound. I looked at a world map and traced the probable route of her ship. She would have been in almost exactly the same location on the same ocean as Jean and Gayle and I were, only she was there nearly a hundred years earlier!

I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for the faith of this good woman that I didn’t know what to do. I realized there really wasn’t anything to do except express my appreciation and increase my determination never to complain about anything I was asked

to do in the Savior’s cause. I expressed those heartfelt feelings of gratitude through prayer.

  

As I did I felt again some of the same love and peace I had felt on that turbulent ocean in Tonga those many years before.

Once again I saw Jean’s uncomplaining face through that tumultuous night. Then I saw her smile as she first stepped ashore the next morning. It melted me to tears. As I basked in its warmth I thought I detected a faint wisp of another smile and was confident it belonged to my great-grandmother Brunt.

I wondered: “Are there such things as spiritual genes? Are there spiritual pools of traits that can help shape us, similar to the way physical genes do?” I didn’t have an answer, but I was sure that the best thing we could do for our posterity is to be faithful ourselves. I know every person has his or her own moral agency and can accept or reject help offered them. But what a great blessing it is if the available “pool” of help contains

much of faith and devotion and goodness. How important to build as much goodness and faith as possible in our lives! Not only will it help us now but it has the potential of being

helpful to others down the stream of time.

Now let me move to a second experience on the influence of people in the present.

While serving as a young missionary in Tonga in the mid 1950s, I was assigned to the small, distant island of Niuatoputapu. At one point a hurricane hit this island wreaking vast destruction. Because of its isolated location we were left on our own for over two months with no outside contact.

  

Food was scarce, but I had plenty of time to ponder. I reflected on the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God.” I had always thought of that scripture as a statement to watch for His salvation after we had done all we could. Now I looked upon it more as an invitation:

“Be still (sit quietly, get rid of outside pressures, go to the temple, for example, don’t worry about this world) and know that I am God your Father.” Or: “Be still so you can know that I

am God your Father. Study and learn of Me and My ways.” If one of the purposes of life is to know and love God, then maybe one of Satan’s best weapons to keep us from that knowledge is to keep us so busy, even doing good things, that we don’t allow ourselves time to be still so we can know that God is our all-powerful and all-loving Father in Heaven!

The ninth week began with essentially no food and little outward change. There was, however, a great inward change. I started talking, or at least thinking to myself, saying, “Well, maybe my mortal life will end here.” It was not a panicky feeling, I was past that stage. It was a calm feeling, an assured feeling, a feeling that it really didn’t matter, because I knew all would be right.

I was pretty much skin and bones by now. I remember being aware of my ribs sticking out, of sensing my heart beating and my lungs breathing, and feeling a great wonderment for the miracle of the human body. What a marvelous mechanism the Lord has put together to house our equally marvelous spirit! The thought of a permanent union of these two elements, made possible through the Savior’s love, suffering, and resurrection,was so inspiring and satisfying that any small physical discomfort faded into nothingness. What a great blessing to know that things will be right! That a remendous blessing faith is!

 Faith is the opposite of fear. We fear what we don’t understand. When we truly understand that God is our Father and we are His children, and that He loves us very much and has a plan for us which includes an eternal family, fear evaporates.

I was so weak by now that I often dozed. At times I wasn’t entirely sure where I was. Sometimes there is a very fine line between “here” and “there.” I didn’t know which side of

the veil I would end up on, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that God was in His heaven, and He knew me and my situation; He would make sure that which was right was done, for as far as I knew, I had done all I could.

I jotted down a phrase, which undoubtedly is not original but which came at that time with the power of firsthand knowledge: “The only thing that is important is your standing in the sight of your Father in Heaven. If that is as it should be, nothing else matters. If that is not as it should be, nothing else counts.”

As I sat there, I realized more and more how much I had to learn. I was genuinely excited about getting on with that learning on whichever side of the veil the Lord deemed most appropriate. I wish I could always have that zest for learning spiritual things. I understood clearly that the spiritual is more important and more powerful than the physical and, in fact, controls all physical things. I understood that both physical and spiritual

elements are necessary and are in effect one when fully comprehended and perfected.

I learned a lot about relationships: our relationship to our Father in Heaven and to the Savior, Their relationship to us, our relationship to each other as members of God’s family, and the all-important role of the Holy Ghost in conveying and confirming the correct understanding of these relationships. I learned a little about our relationship to this earth, the earth’s relationship to this solar system, its relationship to the universe, and the relationship between systems, universes, stars, and also something about how they are governed. I know families were a major element of all this. I didn’t understand much, but I

sensed the grand design. I understood that people unchallenged are largely people undeveloped, be it physically, mentally, or spiritually.

I realized that just as rockets must overcome the pull of gravity in order to roar into space, so we must overcome the pull of the world in order to soar into the eternal realms of understanding. That is where God is, that is where our eternal family is, and that is important!

There came a time when I realized I only had enough strength to write one more letter. I wondered who I should write to and what I should say. It would seem natural to write to my parents, but the impression came very strongly to me to write to Jean, to tell her of my love and ask her to comfort my parents if I did not make it.

  

As I finished this letter, a scripture filled my soul and I knew I had done what was right. “Thou shalt love they wife with all thy heart, and shall cleave unto her and none else” (D & C 42:22). Even though Jean was not yet my wife, it was clear what I should do.

A boat arrived the next day with food on it. I remember taking my first bite of mapakupaku (dried biscuits), closing my eyes, and crying. When I opened my eyes, those about me were crying as well. Some said how good it was to eat again and to feel this great gratitude to God for saving our lives. But I felt something deeper. I would never say I was unhappy with being able to eat again, and I was content that life here would go on as before.

Still I had a wistful feeling, a subtle sense of postponement, as when darkness finally closes the brilliant colors of a perfect sunset and you realize you must wait for another evening to

enjoy such beauty again. Fortunately, life can be colored by the memory of that brilliance which, while not always discernible, is always available and can be drawn upon, especially in times of great need.

Let me show a brief clip of an artist’s attempt to depict these events and these

feelings.

Video Clip

For several weeks after the relief boat arrived, I had a series of special feelings and experiences, which were mostly family-oriented. I sensed that families are the important thing. I understood this was not only the nuclear family we tend to think of, such as mother, father, and children, but the broader family, often called multi-generational, extended family, clan, kin, tribe, or whatever. I knew for sure that all of us, married or single, male or female, old or young, light or dark, are part of this larger family unit and we need to understand it and appreciate it even more than we do. I felt that the Tongans may have a better understanding of the true eternal nature of family than some Westerners do.

As I thought of some in our society putting other things ahead of family, such as their own convenience, schooling, friends, or other conditions, I almost gasped with disbelief. We are here to do things for others that they cannot do for themselves, such as vicarious temple ordinances and having children. I remember thinking, “If we don’t search out and do work for our ancestors, who will? If we delay or refuse to have children, where will God send them?”

As I thought of the eternal consequences of putting worldly things ahead of God and family, I literally shuddered.

I became firmly convinced that we should always look at the eternal perspective in all we do and say, for only by acting according to that perspective can we find safety and joy.

Reflecting on this experience, one of our daughters and her husband created a poster that captures the essence of those feelings. (There is a connection between Heaven and earth.)

Now, the third experience about the influences of the future.

While serving as a mission president in Tonga in the 1960s, our first son was born. Our five daughters were as excited as we were. Unfortunately, it turned out that he was born with a congenital kidney defect which would not allow him to live unless corrected. There were no facilities or trained personnel in Tonga to do this. After much fasting and prayer by thousands of faithful Tongans, the Lord promised them He would preserve our

son’s life long enough for Jean to take him to the Primary Children’s Hospital where he could get the care he needed.

I would stay in Tonga with our five young daughters and Jean would take our son to Utah. The only international flights were from Nadi, Fiji which at that time was part of our mission.

Let me explain some of my feelings as Jean and our son left on that late night flight from Fiji.

When they announced the flight departure, I held Jean and John Enoch for as long as I could before kissing them good-bye and watching them board the plane. When would I see them and hold them in my arms again? I knew we were doing what was right and the end result, whatever it was, would be right, but it was still hard.

I had a heavy feeling as I watched those precious souls board the plane. I watched the door close and the giant craft leave the terminal, taxi to the end of the runway, and prepare to begin its long flight to America.

I found a secluded spot where I could see the plane, which was now at the far end of the runway. It was the darkest hour of the night, not long before sunrise. Nearly everyone had left the airport, so I was virtually alone.

I watched the flashing red lights and the powerful white lights of the plane, as it sat there, probably waiting for take-off clearance, but in my heart I felt it was waiting to give us one last opportunity to say a final good-bye. And why not? After all, isn’t love the strongest force in the universe? I stood and cried out to the plane, to the sky, and to all eternity, “Fly safely! Do you know what a precious cargo of love, faith, fulfillment, and miracles you carry?” My family! Almost immediately I heard a quiet, loving even familiar response coming, not only from the end of the runway but also from the depths of eternity: “I know; I know.”

I’m not sure what being translated is like, but if it has anything to do with being removed from things physical and placed in a dimension or an understanding of things spiritual, including love, faith, family and eternity, then I can relate. All was quiet, very quiet.

My heart or soul, or whatever I was made up of then, was throbbing in a synchronized pattern of love and gratitude that came from beyond myself.

The roar of engines shattered the quiet, and I watched that giant machine thunder down the runway. Faster and faster it went until it dipped briefly out of sight, only to reappear above the runway moving upward and onward into the soft Fijian sky. I watched for a long time as it climbed higher and higher, then made a wide turn and headed back overhead on its way to America.

I focused on the blinking lights for as long as I could see them. Finally, even they melted into the night and I could no longer tell which was plane and which was star. As I struggled to distinguish between them, a peaceful realization came over me that it didn’t really matter, for they were in the hands of God, and He was everywhere. The stars were His and they were His.

My heart, mind, and soul resonated to that simple thought. It seemed to fill my very being, as I saw and felt things that are sacred, true and eternal. I wrote a lot that night but I share only these brief phrases, which are neither prose nor poetry but rather a rush of feelings hastily put on paper.

To Jean Please help me Jean

Build up my faith

I watched you leave Send me your warmth and love.

That starlit eve

Through the soft Fijian sky. I strain to see

But cannot tell

You held our son Exactly where you are.

Our only son

With love and faith to try. Yet God is there

And you are there

I watched you climb A brilliant shining star.

And take your place

Among the stars above. Oh Jean, my love

Please hold my heart

And touch my clouded eye.

Where are you Jean?

I need to know.

Please hear my lonely cry.

  

I want you here

I hurt so much

I need you by my side.

  

I search for you

But cannot see

Beyond the arching tide.

 Yet what is that

So pure, so clear?

Oh Jean, I see, I see!

 There you are!

That brilliant shining star.

So what is a star?

  

It..s you and me

And our family

Through all Eternity

I Know.

I Know.

I Know.

That vision of the future potential of a family has never left me completely. I am convinced that once we see it clearly, we will never be the same. 

I hope these experiences, demonstrating help from the past, the present and the future, have helped us understand the magnitude of eternal families as seen from God’s perspective.

Let me show a final clip which, to me, summarizes all we have talked about. On my first mission we traveled from island to island by sailboat. Usually we got through storms safely. However, one particular storm was so furious that we were thrown from our boat. I remember thinking: “This isn’t right. I’m a missionary. Where’s my protection? Missionaries aren’t supposed to swim.” I learned that complaining doesn’t help, only swimming does and I needed all my energy to swim. I tried to stay above water, but eventually my energy was gone. I never gave up, but at one point the strength in my arms and legs simply gave out.

As I went down for what could have been the last time a vision of Jean came into my mind. I felt her love and realized how much I loved her. I wanted to see her again. I wanted to marry her. I wanted her to be the mother of our children. The reality of the

eternal nature of family became very clear to me even in this moment of despair. Suddenly I felt the power of Jean’s love reaching down and pulling me up from the depths of that

tumultuous sea.

Let’s watch the artist’s depiction of that event. Then I will conclude with my

testimony.

Video Clip

Is there power in love? Is there power in family relationships? I testify there is. I testify that we can be influenced and strengthened by those who have gone before, by those who are with us now and by those who are yet to come. I know it is so.

As surely as the power of my great-grandmother’s goodness could cross over 100 years of time and turn my fear to joy, as surely as the power of Jean’s love could travel over 8000 miles and pull me up from the depths of death and despair into the light of life and future family, so surely can the power of the love of our ancestors, our spouses and our posterity reach across any physical barrier and influence us for good. Where true love is,

barriers crumble.

Only the barrier of a hard heart, an unbelieving mind or a non-caring attitude can stop or delay these influences. How important it is to be humble and to open our hearts, our minds and our time to each other and to those on the other side of the veil.

I testify that love is the greatest power in the universe and that the greatest expression of that power and love comes in our families. The scriptures tell us that God is love. Since God is all powerful and since He is our Father in Heaven, love and family must be the essence of His power in the priesthood.

It is only as we see beyond the limits of this life that we understand the true meaning and importance of a family. The Proclamation to the World on the Family is as good a document as I know to explain this. I testify that if we are humble, work hard and are believing, all things over all time will work for our good.

Brother and sisters, I again commend you for all you do, and encourage you to do even more. We must do more to increase the effectiveness of our technology, but beyond that we must do more to increase our deep feeling for and spiritual understanding of the eternal nature of families. I promise you that by living worthy of spiritual guidance, far greater things will happen to help our families, both descendants and ancestors, than all the

technological advances this world will ever see. Of course, technology and spirituality can and must work together, but remember it is always the spirit that gives life.

I testify that God lives. He is our Father in Heaven. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the only Begotten Son of the Father. He is our Redeemer and Savior. Jesus is the head of this His Church. The priesthood power to seal families on earth and in heaven is present in the Church today. I know that the temples we have are literally Houses of the Lord. Think of the physical meaning and spiritual significance of these word pairs: House and Family,

Father and Son, Husband and Wife, Children and Parents, Time and Eternity.

I know Jesus lives and guides His Church through living prophets. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is His Kingdom on earth today.

I know that Joseph Smith is the prophet who ushered in this final dispensation and that Gordon B. Hinckley is God’s mouthpiece on the earth today. I know families are eternal and important, so important that the whole earth would be wasted were it not for worthily sealed families! Let’s all do our part!

I have great confidence in you and leave my love and blessings with all of you. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.