Here is a few items that I really learned from as I've been taking my Family History Research Religion course from BYU-I.
Here is a really inspiring talk for President Boyd K. Packer. It really offers some neat suggestions for getting started.
Your Family History: Getting Started
The next thing that I want you to read is also amazing! It's by President Howard W. Hunter. It talks about the temple.
The Great Symbol of Our Membership
The following is a talk given by Elder Groberg. I couldn't find a link to it online so I'm just going to post it below: (Sorry it's long!)
Family: The
Eternal Perspective
Elder John H.
Groberg
I am happy to be
with you this evening, and especially grateful to have my wife, Jean, with me. I
commend you for the great work you are doing in Family History. I am aware of the
technological advances that have been and are being made almost daily in many fields of
endeavor, including Family History. I thank you for applying these Heaven-inspired
resources, to make this vital work more reliable, more accessible and more
doable.
This evening,
however, I have chosen to address my remarks not to the technological,
but to the spiritual side of the work. We live in a physical world and have physical bodies,
but it is our spirit that gives us life. It is the spirit that gives life to all
things, including Family
History. Without the spirit there is no existence, no understanding, no life. It is our spirit
that can see beyond this mortal sphere and help us understand where we
came from, why we
are here and where we go after mortality. Only as we see beyond the limits of mortal
life can we understand the real meaning of our existence and the eternal importance of
family.
1 Presented at
the BYU Center for Family History, February 27, 2004
The world today
is confused in their attempts to define and understand a family. Without, in any
way, decrying the efforts of many good people who are sincere in their research, I
submit to you that the only way anyone, anywhere, in any age can truly
understand what a
family is and what its ultimate purpose is, is through the teachings of God, as given
through scriptures, prophets, prayer, and obedience to the same. Thus, I have titled my
remarks: “Family: The Eternal Perspective.” Since God is eternal we could also title them:
“The Family from God’s Perspective.”
The Bible says,
“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” (Genesis. 1:1). After God
created the earth and made it livable, He established a family, patterned after His family
in Heaven. First he created Adam. But Adam alone was not a family. So he created Eve.
She became not only a help-mate, but a soul-mate and completed the foundation for
continuing families.
God gave Adam and
Eve to each other in the Garden of Eden before death was part of the equation,
so we know they were intended to be together forever. Through a series of events mortality
came about, and the families of this earth began to be. They have
continued and
will continue until every spirit assigned to this earth has had a chance to be housed in an
earthly “tabernacle of clay.”
As we come to
earth we are taught to pray: “Our Father which art in Heaven. Hallowed be thy
name (Matthew 6:9).” When we address “Our Father in Heaven,” we are reminded that He
is the Father of our spirits and that we lived with Him in a family in Heaven
before we came to
this earth and became part of another family. Only here, our spirit would be housed in a
mortal body which God gave our earthly father and mother power to produce. A veil
of forgetfulness was drawn over us so we could better learn to live by faith. But we didn’t
forget everything.
Deep inside each
of us is an intense longing to experience the same joy, love and security in our
earthly family that we enjoyed in our Heavenly family.
Individually we
are part of God’s eternal family, but He wants to teach us how we can have our own
eternal family. Part of that process is to come to this earth and link our
earthly
family; both those
who came before us and those who come after us.
As near as I can
tell we agreed to three essential responsibilities when we came to earth:
1. To live our
lives according to God’s commandments so we can go to the temple and properly link
the past to the future.
2. To teach our
families and our neighbors the gospel, search out our ancestors and do vicarious
temple work for them.
3. To have
children and teach them gospel truths, especially about families so they will continue the
linking process.
Let me illustrate
these three parts with a symbol. Picture yourself as a couple looking into each
other’s eyes. Now picture a mirror behind each of you, tilted so that the reflections
bounce back and forth and go on forever down the stream of time and on into infinity. You, as
husband and wife, are in the middle. The endless reflections on one side represent your
ancestors, those who have gone before, making it possible for you to be here. The endless
reflections on the other side represent your posterity² those to come who will continue the
chain of your eternal family. But we are in the middle. Think of it. If we aren’t worthy, if
we don’t do the work for our ancestors and if we don’t get married and have children, we will
not have linked our generation! These endless images can only be seen by each spouse as he
or she looks through the eye of the other spouse. In other words, we can’t do it
alone. We need each other. Just as Adam needed Eve, so we need our spouses! In one
sense, all eternity is focused on this one couple and waits for them to act.
Thankfully they
are not alone. Those who have gone before and those who are yet to come can have a mighty
influence on us, if we will let them. I know something of these influences.
Let me give three
personal examples of influences from the past, the present and the future. First,
the past: as a mission president in Tonga I needed to visit some elders on a distant island.
The only boat available was old and dirty. Jean was nursing our three-month old daughter,
Gayle, but she wanted to come along, so she made arrangements for someone to watch
the older girls and we took passage on what the locals called “the rolling tub.”
I arranged for
the only so-called room on the boat, which was nothing more than a small enclosure
with two narrow planks against one wall called “bunks.” We stayed on deck as much as
possible as the air was so bad in the tiny room.
The roughness of
that voyage was unbelievable. The waves crashed across the deck, making it
slippery and cold. Even though the air was much better on deck, for safety’s sake I felt we
should stay in our bunks. Jean tried to lie down with Gayle on the lower
board. I tried to
stay put on the upper one.
The rolling and
jerking of the boat became so violent that we were often thrown out of our bunks and
smashed against the floor and the opposite wall which was only a couple of feet away. I was
afraid I might come crashing down on Jean and the baby if we were
thrown from our
bunks at the same time.
The best thing I
could think of was for Jean and the baby to stay on the lower bunk and for me to sit
on the floor with my back against their bunk, with my feet braced against the opposite
wall. This way I could be somewhat stationary, and when Jean and the baby were pitched to
the open side of the bunk they would roll against my back rather than onto
the floor.
The floor was
hard, wet and cold, and my legs and back were cramped from the constant strain.
It was a long, miserable night.
Gayle clung
tenaciously to Jean and was able to nurse and sleep on and off. I wondered how long
I could hold out. All during that long dark night we were in constant turmoil. The
pitching boat, the pounding waves, and the shrieking wind tore not only at my
comfort but at my
faith. Why is all this happening? I wondered.
At one point
during the night I turned and looked at Jean and Gayle and felt the trauma and pain
they were experiencing. I wanted to get them out of this situation, but there was nothing I
could do. I asked: “Why did I bring Jean and the baby? Why is this happening? If the
Savior calmed the Sea of Galilee, why not calm this sea?” On and on went the
questions. I was hurting, and suddenly a wave of self-pity started to enter my mind.
At that precise
moment, another influence flooded my mind. It was as though someone were
talking to me, someone who was close to me, someone I knew from somewhere. I
couldn’t tell who, but I knew it was a faithful woman who knew me and loved me. Her influence
filled my mind in a peaceful yet firm way, and I clearly felt the message: “Do not complain.
You have no right to complain. You should be grateful for the opportunity to serve the
Lord, to help build His kingdom. No sacrifice is too great for His sake. Think
of what He did for
you. Don’t complain. Don’t even think of complaining.”
These impressions
filled my heart and mind. What a blessing and comfort they were! I was still
terribly uncomfortable and seasick, my back and legs still hurt, the night was
still
dark and the sea
was still rough, but for some wonderfully beautiful reason the thought of complaining left
me entirely. Like a cloud of darkness, it had been chased away by a flood
of goodness and
light.
I knew I had been
helped by an outside force. I closed my eyes and thanked God for His goodness and
help and asked for His protection as we continued our voyage. I expressed my deep
appreciation for whoever had influenced my thinking so positively that frightful night.
We landed safely the next morning.
Years later I was
reading a history of my great-grandmother, Elizabeth Susan Burnett Brunt. She was
born in London but as a youth went to New Zealand, where she married and had several
children. She and her husband heard the Latter-day Saint missionaries in Kaipoi, near
Christchurch, around 1870 and were converted. As was the custom in those days, the
missionaries asked them to gather to “Zion.” Accordingly she and her husband
began making
arrangements to leave New Zealand for Utah.
They had
difficulty selling their farm so it was determined that she would take their four small children
and go by boat to San Francisco and on to Salt Lake City. Her husband stayed to settle
affairs in New Zealand and followed a year later.
I pondered on the
faith of that young mother with four small children heading out alone from New
Zealand to her desert Zion in Utah. Who knows the hardships, the trials, the
discouragements she passed through?
Then something
really caught my attention. It was a brief comment that at one point on their voyage
to San Francisco the boat encountered extremely rough seas and she and the children
became very ill. The picture of that moment filled my mind. I could literally
see them tossing,
both physically and emotionally, on that merciless sea. She was alone and discouraged and
almost felt to complain, but as she prayed she remembered that she was a
member of God’s
true church and was on her way to Zion. She was helped to realize that no problem was
too big and no sacrifice too great as long as she attained her Zion. She promised herself
she would never complain, or even think of complaining, and prayed that none of her
posterity would either.
I was spellbound.
I looked at a world map and traced the probable route of her ship. She would have
been in almost exactly the same location on the same ocean as Jean and Gayle and I were,
only she was there nearly a hundred years earlier!
I was so
overwhelmed with gratitude for the faith of this good woman that I didn’t know what to do.
I realized there really wasn’t anything to do except express my appreciation and
increase my determination never to complain about anything I was asked
to do in the
Savior’s cause. I expressed those heartfelt feelings of gratitude through
prayer.
As I did I felt
again some of the same love and peace I had felt on that turbulent ocean in Tonga those many
years before.
Once again I saw
Jean’s uncomplaining face through that tumultuous night. Then I saw her smile as
she first stepped ashore the next morning. It melted me to tears. As I basked in its
warmth I thought I detected a faint wisp of another smile and was confident it belonged to my
great-grandmother Brunt.
I wondered: “Are
there such things as spiritual genes? Are there spiritual pools of traits that can help
shape us, similar to the way physical genes do?” I didn’t have an answer, but I was
sure that the best thing we could do for our posterity is to be faithful ourselves. I know
every person has his or her own moral agency and can accept or reject help offered
them. But what a great blessing it is if the available “pool” of help contains
much of faith and
devotion and goodness. How important to build as much goodness and faith as possible
in our lives! Not only will it help us now but it has the potential of being
helpful to others
down the stream of time.
Now let me move
to a second experience on the influence of people in the present.
While serving as
a young missionary in Tonga in the mid 1950s, I was assigned to the small,
distant island of Niuatoputapu. At one point a hurricane hit this island
wreaking vast destruction.
Because of its isolated location we were left on our own for over two months with no
outside contact.
Food was scarce,
but I had plenty of time to ponder. I reflected on the scripture, “Be still and know
that I am God.” I had always thought of that scripture as a statement to watch for His salvation
after we had done all we could. Now I looked upon it more as an invitation:
“Be still (sit quietly,
get rid of outside pressures, go to the temple, for example, don’t worry about this world)
and know that I am God your Father.” Or: “Be still so you can know that I
am God your
Father. Study and learn of Me and My ways.” If one of the purposes of life is to know and love
God, then maybe one of Satan’s best weapons to keep us from that knowledge is to
keep us so busy, even doing good things, that we don’t allow ourselves time to be still so we
can know that God is our all-powerful and all-loving Father in Heaven!
The ninth week
began with essentially no food and little outward change. There was, however, a great
inward change. I started talking, or at least thinking to myself, saying, “Well, maybe my
mortal life will end here.” It was not a panicky feeling, I was past that stage. It was a
calm feeling, an assured feeling, a feeling that it really didn’t matter, because I knew
all would be right.
I was pretty much
skin and bones by now. I remember being aware of my ribs sticking out, of
sensing my heart beating and my lungs breathing, and feeling a great wonderment for
the miracle of the human body. What a marvelous mechanism the Lord has put together to
house our equally marvelous spirit! The thought of a permanent union of these two
elements, made possible through the Savior’s love, suffering, and resurrection,was so inspiring
and satisfying that any small physical discomfort faded into nothingness. What a great
blessing to know that things will be right! That a remendous blessing faith
is!
Faith is the opposite of fear. We fear what we
don’t understand. When we truly understand that God is our
Father and we are His children, and that He loves us very much and has a plan for us which
includes an eternal family, fear evaporates.
I was so weak by
now that I often dozed. At times I wasn’t entirely sure where I was. Sometimes there
is a very fine line between “here” and “there.” I didn’t know which side of
the veil I would
end up on, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that God was in His heaven, and He
knew me and my situation; He would make sure that which was right was done, for as far
as I knew, I had done all I could.
I jotted down a
phrase, which undoubtedly is not original but which came at that time with the power of
firsthand knowledge: “The only thing that is important is your standing in the sight of your
Father in Heaven. If that is as it should be, nothing else matters. If that is not as it should
be, nothing else counts.”
As I sat there, I
realized more and more how much I had to learn. I was genuinely excited about
getting on with that learning on whichever side of the veil the Lord deemed most appropriate.
I wish I could always have that zest for learning spiritual things. I understood
clearly that the spiritual is more important and more powerful than the
physical and, in fact,
controls all physical things. I understood that both physical and spiritual
elements are
necessary and are in effect one when fully comprehended and perfected.
I learned a lot
about relationships: our relationship to our Father in Heaven and to the Savior, Their
relationship to us, our relationship to each other as members of God’s family, and the
all-important role of the Holy Ghost in conveying and confirming the correct understanding of
these relationships. I learned a little about our relationship to this earth, the earth’s
relationship to this solar system, its relationship to the universe, and the relationship
between systems, universes, stars, and also something about how they are governed. I know
families were a major element of all this. I didn’t understand much, but I
sensed the grand
design. I understood that people unchallenged are largely people undeveloped, be
it physically, mentally, or spiritually.
I realized that
just as rockets must overcome the pull of gravity in order to roar into space, so we must
overcome the pull of the world in order to soar into the eternal realms of understanding.
That is where God is, that is where our eternal family is, and that is important!
There came a time
when I realized I only had enough strength to write one more letter. I
wondered who I should write to and what I should say. It would seem natural to write to my
parents, but the impression came very strongly to me to write to Jean, to tell
her of my love and
ask her to comfort my parents if I did not make it.
As I finished
this letter, a scripture filled my soul and I knew I had done what was right. “Thou
shalt love they wife with all thy heart, and shall cleave unto her and none
else” (D & C
42:22). Even though Jean was not yet my wife, it was clear what I should do.
A boat arrived
the next day with food on it. I remember taking my first bite of mapakupaku (dried
biscuits), closing my eyes, and crying. When I opened my eyes, those about me were
crying as well. Some said how good it was to eat again and to feel this great gratitude to God
for saving our lives. But I felt something deeper. I would never say I was unhappy with
being able to eat again, and I was content that life here would go on as
before.
Still I had a
wistful feeling, a subtle sense of postponement, as when darkness finally
closes the brilliant
colors of a perfect sunset and you realize you must wait for another evening to
enjoy such beauty
again. Fortunately, life can be colored by the memory of that brilliance which, while not
always discernible, is always available and can be drawn upon, especially in times of great
need.
Let me show a
brief clip of an artist’s attempt to depict these events and these
feelings.
Video Clip
For several weeks
after the relief boat arrived, I had a series of special feelings and experiences,
which were mostly family-oriented. I sensed that families are the important thing. I
understood this was not only the nuclear family we tend to think of, such as
mother, father, and
children, but the broader family, often called multi-generational, extended
family, clan, kin, tribe,
or whatever. I knew for sure that all of us, married or single, male or female, old or young,
light or dark, are part of this larger family unit and we need to understand it and appreciate it
even more than we do. I felt that the Tongans may have a better understanding of
the true eternal nature of family than some Westerners do.
As I thought of
some in our society putting other things ahead of family, such as their own convenience,
schooling, friends, or other conditions, I almost gasped with disbelief. We are here to do
things for others that they cannot do for themselves, such as vicarious temple ordinances and
having children. I remember thinking, “If we don’t search out and do work for our
ancestors, who will? If we delay or refuse to have children, where will God
send them?”
As I thought of
the eternal consequences of putting worldly things ahead of God and family, I
literally shuddered.
I became firmly
convinced that we should always look at the eternal perspective in all we do and say,
for only by acting according to that perspective can we find safety and joy.
Reflecting on
this experience, one of our daughters and her husband created a poster that
captures the essence of those feelings. (There is a connection between Heaven and earth.)
Now, the third
experience about the influences of the future.
While serving as
a mission president in Tonga in the 1960s, our first son was born. Our five
daughters were as excited as we were. Unfortunately, it turned out that he was born with a
congenital kidney defect which would not allow him to live unless corrected. There were no
facilities or trained personnel in Tonga to do this. After much fasting and prayer by
thousands of faithful Tongans, the Lord promised them He would preserve our
son’s life long
enough for Jean to take him to the Primary Children’s Hospital where he could get the
care he needed.
I would stay in
Tonga with our five young daughters and Jean would take our son to Utah. The only
international flights were from Nadi, Fiji which at that time was part of our mission.
Let me explain
some of my feelings as Jean and our son left on that late night flight from Fiji.
When they
announced the flight departure, I held Jean and John Enoch for as long as I could before
kissing them good-bye and watching them board the plane. When would I see them and hold
them in my arms again? I knew we were doing what was right and the end result,
whatever it was, would be right, but it was still hard.
I had a heavy
feeling as I watched those precious souls board the plane. I watched the door close
and the giant craft leave the terminal, taxi to the end of the runway, and prepare to begin
its long flight to America.
I found a
secluded spot where I could see the plane, which was now at the far end of the runway. It
was the darkest hour of the night, not long before sunrise. Nearly everyone had left the
airport, so I was virtually alone.
I watched the
flashing red lights and the powerful white lights of the plane, as it sat there, probably
waiting for take-off clearance, but in my heart I felt it was waiting to give
us one last
opportunity to say a final good-bye. And why not? After all, isn’t love the
strongest force in the
universe? I stood and cried out to the plane, to the sky, and to all eternity,
“Fly safely! Do you
know what a precious cargo of love, faith, fulfillment, and miracles you carry?” My
family! Almost immediately I heard a quiet, loving even familiar response coming, not only
from the end of the runway but also from the depths of eternity: “I know; I know.”
I’m not sure what
being translated is like, but if it has anything to do with being removed from
things physical and placed in a dimension or an understanding of things spiritual,
including love, faith, family and eternity, then I can relate. All was quiet,
very quiet.
My heart or soul,
or whatever I was made up of then, was throbbing in a synchronized pattern of love
and gratitude that came from beyond myself.
The roar of
engines shattered the quiet, and I watched that giant machine thunder down the runway.
Faster and faster it went until it dipped briefly out of sight, only to reappear above
the runway moving upward and onward into the soft Fijian sky. I watched for a long time
as it climbed higher and higher, then made a wide turn and headed back overhead on its
way to America.
I focused on the
blinking lights for as long as I could see them. Finally, even they melted into the
night and I could no longer tell which was plane and which was star. As I struggled to
distinguish between them, a peaceful realization came over me that it didn’t really matter,
for they were in the hands of God, and He was everywhere. The stars were His and they were
His.
My heart, mind,
and soul resonated to that simple thought. It seemed to fill my very being, as I saw
and felt things that are sacred, true and eternal. I wrote a lot that night but
I share only these
brief phrases, which are neither prose nor poetry but rather a rush of feelings hastily
put on paper.
To Jean Please
help me Jean
Build up my faith
I watched you
leave Send me your warmth and love.
That starlit eve
Through the soft
Fijian sky. I strain to see
But cannot tell
You held our son
Exactly where you are.
Our only son
With love and
faith to try. Yet God is there
And you are there
I watched you
climb A brilliant shining star.
And take your
place
Among the stars
above. Oh Jean, my love
Please hold my
heart
And touch my
clouded eye.
Where are you
Jean?
I need to know.
Please hear my
lonely cry.
I want you here
I hurt so much
I need you by my
side.
I search for you
But cannot see
Beyond the
arching tide.
Yet what is that
So pure, so
clear?
Oh Jean, I see, I
see!
There you are!
That brilliant
shining star.
So what is a
star?
It..s you and me
And our family
Through all
Eternity
I Know.
I Know.
I Know.
That vision of
the future potential of a family has never left me completely. I am convinced that
once we see it clearly, we will never be the same.
I hope these
experiences, demonstrating help from the past, the present and the future, have
helped us understand the magnitude of eternal families as seen from God’s perspective.
Let me show a
final clip which, to me, summarizes all we have talked about. On my first mission we
traveled from island to island by sailboat. Usually we got through storms safely. However,
one particular storm was so furious that we were thrown from our boat. I remember
thinking: “This isn’t right. I’m a missionary. Where’s my protection?
Missionaries aren’t supposed
to swim.” I learned that complaining doesn’t help, only swimming does and I needed all my
energy to swim. I tried to stay above water, but eventually my energy was gone. I never
gave up, but at one point the strength in my arms and legs simply gave out.
As I went down
for what could have been the last time a vision of Jean came into my mind. I felt her
love and realized how much I loved her. I wanted to see her again. I wanted to marry
her. I wanted her to be the mother of our children. The reality of the
eternal nature of
family became very clear to me even in this moment of despair. Suddenly I felt the power
of Jean’s love reaching down and pulling me up from the depths of that
tumultuous sea.
Let’s watch the
artist’s depiction of that event. Then I will conclude with my
testimony.
Video Clip
Is there power in
love? Is there power in family relationships? I testify there is. I testify that we
can be influenced and strengthened by those who have gone before, by those who are with us
now and by those who are yet to come. I know it is so.
As surely as the
power of my great-grandmother’s goodness could cross over 100 years of time and
turn my fear to joy, as surely as the power of Jean’s love could travel over 8000 miles and
pull me up from the depths of death and despair into the light of life and future family, so
surely can the power of the love of our ancestors, our spouses and our posterity reach
across any physical barrier and influence us for good. Where true love is,
barriers crumble.
Only the barrier
of a hard heart, an unbelieving mind or a non-caring attitude can stop or delay
these influences. How important it is to be humble and to open our hearts, our minds and our
time to each other and to those on the other side of the veil.
I testify that
love is the greatest power in the universe and that the greatest expression of
that power and love comes in our families. The scriptures tell us that God is love. Since God
is all powerful and since He is our Father in Heaven, love and family must be the essence of
His power in the priesthood.
It is only as we
see beyond the limits of this life that we understand the true meaning and importance of
a family. The Proclamation to the World on the Family is as good a document as I
know to explain this. I testify that if we are humble, work hard and are believing, all
things over all time will work for our good.
Brother and
sisters, I again commend you for all you do, and encourage you to do even more. We
must do more to increase the effectiveness of our technology, but beyond that we must do
more to increase our deep feeling for and spiritual understanding of the eternal nature of
families. I promise you that by living worthy of spiritual guidance, far greater things
will happen to help our families, both descendants and ancestors, than all the
technological
advances this world will ever see. Of course, technology and spirituality can and must work
together, but remember it is always the spirit that gives life.
I testify that
God lives. He is our Father in Heaven. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the only Begotten
Son of the Father. He is our Redeemer and Savior. Jesus is the head of this His Church.
The priesthood power to seal families on earth and in heaven is present in the Church today.
I know that the temples we have are literally Houses of the Lord. Think of the physical
meaning and spiritual significance of these word pairs: House and Family,
Father and Son,
Husband and Wife, Children and Parents, Time and Eternity.
I know Jesus
lives and guides His Church through living prophets. I know that The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints is His Kingdom on earth today.
I know that
Joseph Smith is the prophet who ushered in this final dispensation and that Gordon B.
Hinckley is God’s mouthpiece on the earth today. I know families are eternal and important, so
important that the whole earth would be wasted were it not for worthily sealed families!
Let’s all do our part!
I have great
confidence in you and leave my love and blessings with all of you. In the name of Jesus
Christ, amen.
